These Games People Play
by Omniskriba
Summary: Tai suffers the guilty concience of being a leader. Someone somehow relives him of this pain. A TaiJyou for Quantum Weather Butterfly.


~*~  
These Games People Play  
By Kyoko Jyou  
~*~  
Authors Note: Okay, let me get this clear. I don't usually write yaoi- I am not homophobic but since I do write by psychologically merging with my subject characters, I have to object of being yaoi as well. This is a Jyouchi, a JyouxTaichi slightly yaoi pairing which I made for a request (domou arigatou Quantum Weather Butterfly! This will be more than ten sentences. I promise.). If you have Jyou-fic requests or if you want continuations for my story, don't hesitate to e-mail. Let me see what I can do.  
Disclaimer: Digimon is a property of Toei and some other people. Do I look like Toei? Do I look like people? (Well I bloody hope so).  
~*~  
I confess.  
Half the time we were in the Digital World I had no idea what I was doing.  
But I had to lead.  
In my hands rested the crest of courage. I had to be brave, or we would get nowhere... right?  
So why do I now feel so wrong?  
I did get us out... I did lead us to victory...  
We won...  
But...  
But...  
Something's not quite right...  
Guilt...  
Why must there be... guilt?  
Everytime I see their faces, I feel a certain stab of guilt on my chest...  
A horrible, piercing pain within...  
More than once have I put my friend's lives in danger...  
Some friend I was...  
They could have died in there...  
What would I have done?  
Or said?  
They'd all blame me...  
I led them...  
I could easily have failed them...  
There has been a million reasons why they should be dead right now...  
A million trillion reasons why the world should be under Myotismon's control now...  
Then again...  
Some people seemed to have kept us together...  
I've heard all that stuff about saving Takeru from drowning or how he saved Daisuke and the others from that oil rig...  
We called him a coward... but he kept us intact. He was brave enough to tell us that we were going to kill ourselves if we didn't open our eyes. For a person with faulty vision, he saw better than the rest of us.  
Strenght... such raw strenght persisted in his will. He'd do what he thought was right... him having an innate knack of what 'right' was. Even Koushirou, who was logical to the fault couldn't argue with Jyou's probability readings.  
Pessimistic?  
No...  
Realistic?  
Ah... perhaps...  
...  
...  
Was I just thinking about Jyou?  
I was, wasn't I?  
I...  
I...  
I... shouldn't...  
I won't...  
I can't...  
I'm not...  
I am not...  
~Rrrring...~  
"Who is it?"  
"Tai? It's Jyou. Can I come in?"  
"S...sure, why not..."  
Jyou...  
Why him?  
Why now?  
WHY???  
"Taichi?"  
"Just a sec..."  
Jyou...  
My heart throbs...  
But why?  
I'm a guy...  
He's a guy...  
"Taichi, is anything wrong? I can come back later..."  
"NO! I mean, no... I'm fine. What brings you here?"  
"Oh... actually... I'm here to ask for a favor."  
"Sure, anything for a pal!"  
"Thanks. Well, I just took a little physical education exam and it so happens that I failed... miserably."  
"Not used to failing anything, are you."  
"I guess not. I don't think a person can learn about kicking rubber balls by reading up on them, can you?"  
"Nah. I don't suppose you tried to, did you?"  
"Well..."  
"You're weird sometimes, you know that?"  
"Hmm."  
"So, where do I fit in in this picture?"  
"Well, I sorta need your help getting me into shape..."  
"Well... that would be quite hard considering I'd have to work from scratch."  
"Hey!"  
"Sorry, force of habit... but really now. 'You sure you wanna go through with this?"  
"I am positive. Or at least I am now."  
"That's the spirit."  
"I'm not being optimistic!"  
"I'm not saying you were."  
~*~  
It wasn't easy having to hang around Jyou like this.  
There's always this air of strangeness around him...  
He'd be fumbling at one time and getting in goals at the other...  
Sometimes I wished that he never needed my help...  
That he just wanted to, y'know, be around me...  
Nuts...  
What am I thinking...  
If I was... that way... I'd certainly fall for Yamato first...  
But no...  
There's still something pulling me closer to him...  
Like a moth to a flame...  
Somehow...  
Guilt doesn't strike me around him...  
I know that we did pull it through...  
He seldomly fought...  
And when he did, he was never too powerful either...  
But his responsibility around us somehow allowed us to fight without fear...  
He was my courage sort to speak...  
"Taichi? Tai? Hello? Coach?"  
"Uh... yes, where was I?"  
~*~  
I can't take this much longer!  
Everyday, I'm around this... this guy...  
The way he looks at me...  
Such attentive reverence...  
He'd melt me with a smile...  
I will no longer deny that it has become a physical attraction.  
My own eyes betray me.  
Damn this...  
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!  
Training him?  
I... I... only catch... short glimpses... of him...  
Damn this stupid little charade!  
"Taichi... your phasing out again..."  
I will not play this stupid game anymore.  
"Jyou... listen... I have to tell you something important..."  
I will not keep myself longing.  
"Wh... what is it..."  
"I... I... love..."  
"Taichi..."  
"Y...yes.."  
"I'm sorry..."  
I watched his face turn sour.  
Had he just turned me down?  
Had he?  
He can't do that!  
He had to understand!  
"Jyou!?"  
I'm sorry- that was what he said...  
He simply turned me down.  
He simply walked away.  
Where was his reliability now when I need it the most?  
He couldn't even return the sentiment...  
He couldn't even FACE ME...  
I'm sorry...  
I'm sorry I had to fall for you...  
You've always been there for us to fall on you...  
But to fall for you...  
I suddenly feel guilty once again...  
Love unrequited...  
Friendship destroyed...  
Dare I love another now?  
Women? I can't.  
Not anymore.  
Men?  
What would my parents think.  
I was so sure...  
The charade had been so well played...  
Yet I lost...  
Because I quit playing...  
These stupid games people play...  
~*~  
Please Rn'R! 


End file.
